Honest Thoughts on CIO/Sleep Training

Mom acronym breakdown - CIO = Cry It Out

Disclaimer - these thoughts are of mine and mine alone (and maybe Darius'). I am not a professional and advise any parent going through sleep deprivation to ask their pediatrician first on what to do.

So at basically exactly four months old Lincoln started to go through sleep regression.  We read about this, heard about it and were TOTALLY prepared for it. Except NOT. Except how do you prepare for sleep regression? I prayed that my baby wouldn't go through it because my baby it totally perfect and unique and would never follow in the tracks of those other babies. Except, he's a baby. And he doesn't give a flying shit what I want - so, sleep regression. To put sleep regression lightly, to those who either did have that baby who didn't torture make their parents go through it, or those parents who aren't there yet or those people who made the wise choice of not having kids - it's like this (again at least it was like this for US) - your baby basically decides out of no where - after 3-ish months of sleeping pretty decently - to out of no where just... stop. And by stop I mean like stop sleeping. And like everything is suddenly a big deal. And suddenly the only place your baby wants to sleep is like... let's say, in the car (when you can't sleep) or on your boob (when you can't sleep) or at the doctor (when you can't sleep).. are you getting the idea? And suddenly you're second guessing your parenting skills. Like maybe the rock n play was a horrible idea. I mean after all, ALL of the internet says it causes a curved spine *insert eye roll emoji*. And so the rock n play is gone and you're all: "maybe the swing?" "maybe the bassinet?" And so then you show up to your four month appointment and your pediatrician who's been doing this for 32 years is all like "Two words: Sleep. Training." And then you have this flashback - the one to when BEFORE you had the baby - and it was something like this:

"I will never, like ever, be one of THOSE parents who let's their baby cry! I mean COME ON! I can sleep when I'm dead." Except, you basically are dying because it's been 3 weeks and you keep calling all your students by the wrong name... and you aren't even sure what your name is.

And then the pediatrician actually gives you the most honest to God advice you've ever heard: "You're a parent now. It's time to start doing things your kid doesn't like."  And you're all, "Touche."

So that night Darius and I went home and started the dreaded, the abusive, the "you are a bad parent!" sleep training. And it worked. Here's how it works for us (as recommended by our pediatrician - you get your own!)

Night 1 - Let said baby cry in five minute increments 3 times with 1 minute of consoling in between. This can mean pick up, rub back, rock, whatever - but not feeding to sleep.

Night 2 - Let said baby cry for 10 minutes 3 times with 1 minute of consoling between.

Night 3 - Let said baby cry for 15 minutes.. you get the point?

So, the first night it took over an hour.  I think it was an hour and a half to be exact. And it was TORTUROUS! It was awful! It hurt our hearts! We cried! YES WE CRIED! We were all crying! Except Gus because he doesn't GAF.  But we kept it up. The next night, Lincoln cried for 30 minutes until it worked. By the third night, 5 minutes! FIVE MINUTES GUYS!  The only issue was, he wouldn't stay asleep. When he would wake up 2-3 hours later, CIO didn't work so well. Especially in the middle of the night when WE were exhausted and didn't want to have to lay there listening to him cry for set periods of time. It was hard. And then, we got sick (Darius and I). So, things took a step back.  And I was sick of hearing my baby cry. And  I was working a lot and only getting 2 hours with Lincoln a night. So, we have changed things. Here is what we do now:

I nurse Lincoln to sleep. Doctors and other moms might slap my wrist for that, but I don't care. I won't be nursing him to sleep for the rest of his life, so I think it's okay for now. Plus, I like it and he likes it. It's serious bonding time for us and I love that. (By the way- I am in NO WAY saying nursing to sleep is the only form of bonding! Bottle feeding, formula feeding, WHATEVER, works too! Lincoln still gets one bottle of formula a day at daycare and I am ALL ABOUT a healthy, fed baby!) He is usually asleep by 7. I put him in his pack n' play. Sometimes he stays asleep (like tonight) and will probably wake around 11. Sometimes he wakes immediately and cries. When he does this, I let him cry in 10 minute increments until the third time when I nurse him back to sleep. Some random nights, nothing works except his swing. So, one of us will sleep on the couch while Lincoln sleeps in his swing. This is rare that he refuses to sleep in his pack n play but it has happened before. In the middle of the night when Lincoln wakes, I bring him to bed to cuddle him and nurse him back to sleep. I put him back in his pack n play until he wakes again.  Right now, he's having 1-2 wakes per night. If  I can tell he's restless and not interested in going back in his pack n play, I bring him downstairs and put him in the swing for the rest of the night and sleep on the couch.

This is the schedule and routine that currently works for us. Overall, I am a believer of CIO. But I get why some people are not, and that's totally fine. You have to do what works for you and your baby. But overall, in the morning Lincoln has no clue what happened and greets me with that big, toothless smile! I do not enjoy letting my sweet boy CIO but I am not against it. We all need sleep and Lincoln DOES need to learn how to fall asleep on his own. Sometimes, he does this well and other times he needs help. At the end of the day, he is still a baby who is only (now) five months old. 

So, if you're a mom out there wondering what to do about the little to none sleep you're getting, maybe talk to your pediatrician about letting them cry it out a bit. If you're totally against it and want to nurse your baby or rock your baby or whatever, then go for it! There will be one day when your sweet babe won't want to nurse or be rocked anymore and that day will kill us. So, for now, I am soaking up all I can get from my sweet boy!

I hope this post has been useful and helpful to moms-to-be or moms going through the torture of sleep training!